It is imperative for every parent to make their children understand the difference between good and bad. 7 out of 10 parents seek perfection from their child almost in every aspect of life. Therefore, we as parents sometimes become tough on our kids when our suggestions or advice become negative criticism. So, it is advised to maintain resilience and be empathetic when it comes to criticism. For adapting constructive criticism, you must have a look on some of the negative effects of parental criticism on kids.

“Be careful with your words, and always remember, “The more one judges, the less one loves.”

– Honore de Balzac

Criticizing kids continuously can have long-lasting harmful impacts on their development.

Negative Elements to Criticism

• Develops misunderstanding
• lead to anger
• It is destructive

Effects of Parental Criticism on Kids 

• It influences their attachment behavior: When kids get criticized in a way that makes them feel useless, they might question their progenitors’ love. In other words, some kids might end up feeling unloved, and as a result, they might start to look for love elsewhere. Many sex addicts, controlling people, and narcissists are grown-ups deprived of love when they were kids.
• Guilt: When a kid is criticized, he often starts to feel embarrassed of himself. As time passes, the criticism this kid gets subjected to makes him believe that something is wrong with him. This kind of guilt might force that kid to grow socially withdrawn, fear expressing his emotions, and fear taking risks.

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• The development of the false identity In the Solid Self-confidence program, I said that When a kid gets told that he is lazy, dumb, or stupid every day, he tends to believe in these words. Later on, when that child grows, he might unconsciously try to prove his earlier beliefs. That child might fail to study or concentrate because his subconscious mind wants to prove that he is a loser to fulfill the prophecy.
• Lack of self-confidence: When a kid gets criticized, he usually thinks of each word with disregard to the context. If a kid is constantly told that he is lazy, he will believe that he is lazy. These new beliefs affect the child’s self-confidence and make him think that he is not that worthy.
• Growth of emotional scars & over sensitivity: If a kid is constantly told that he is stupid, dumb, lazy, or any other humiliating word, he might develop an emotional scar that lasts for his lifetime. It will hurt him if someone says any word that unconsciously reminds that kid of his wound. If, for example, the kid believed that he was stupid, then any remark that reminds him of this unconscious wound would make him feel horrible.

Raising Healthy Children

It is more beneficial to avoid criticism altogether because kids are too fragile to handle it. However, if the criticism is a must, one must ensure that the kid understands its purpose. Kids develop their personalities in their early years, then be with these personalities; that’s why one needs to be careful while raising your kids.

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How to Deliver Criticism that Doesn’t Hurt 

•  Start with the emphasis on their strengths. 
• Follow it with the negative (destructive or “constructive” section), & then repeat positive thoughts at the end.

Just like the sandwich? Two positive parts sandwich a negative. We know it sounds more straightforward than it is, but at least it will prick a bit less. Origins need to understand that their words to kids have powerful, profound, & long-lasting outcomes. They need to discontinue using hurtful & damaging language with their kids.

What should a parent do?

Parents need to be encouraging, appreciating, and supporting their children instead of critical. She needs to concentrate on what is right instead of looking for what is wrong with her kid. She needs to turn her point of view to build her kid up rather than break him down, which criticism does to children. When origins actively look for the good things about their kid, they won’t be so quick to find and point out his mistakes.
Origins need to regularly look for the good and see their kids in a favorable light. If origins can focus on the good, they will then see behavior progress dramatically. Encouraging and acknowledging our kids as an alternative to criticism is a loving a respectful way to parent.

Hope this article on effects of parental criticism on kids helps you building a habit of constructive criticism.

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